Jul 31, 2014

Weigh in: Going Down

I wasn't going to weigh in this morning because I haven't been as stalwart as I need to be in the healthy eating department. BUT then I worked out for an hour (BEFORE work! I know, so good) and was feeling great about life so I hopped on the scale.

231.8 lbs

Last weigh-in: 232.8 lbs
Current weigh-in: 231.8 lbs
Total weight lost: 1 lbs

One pound down! It ain't much but at least I'm moving in the right direction again. Happy Thursday!

Jul 29, 2014

Currently: July

It's practically August, but these things change so often I could write one each week. I won't, but I could. It's the thought that counts.

Current books: I've been reading the Rose Gardner mysteries by Denise Grover Swank on the train. I read the first book because it was free then I got hooked. I cringe every time I read "crappy doodles" but I'm enjoying the "hermitic girl starts living her life after her bitch of a mom is murdered" plot line. 

Current music: I recently bought Miranda Lambert's new album, Platinum, and it's pret-ty good. I always forget about country music because Sam's not a fan (except for Kenny Rogers, she would probably want me to say) so we never listen to it in the car (which is about the only time I listen to the radio). 

Current guilty pleasure: Please see above re: Current Books. The first book was free but the rest...are not. I've been buying them anyway because they're cheap, but I have so many other books that I already own and need to read! #nerdproblems

Current nail colour: Essie's Mind Your Mittens- It's a winter color, but I'm a rule breaker.

Current drink: Water and old coffee 

Current food: Sam and I are back on "The Plan" as of Monday because we've both been struggling to stop reaching for carbs (and, uh, I'll be postponing that second weigh-in until next week, thaaaaaanks). So I've been eating healthily. Currently I'm munching on some carrots.

Current favourite show: I recently started Season 2 of Parenthood and I'm obsessed! Love those Bravermans.

Current wish list: Fall weather! Is it SO NICE OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW sorry for shouting. It makes me want fall to be here NOW. Not that I'm wishing away time. But I sorta am. I should stop that. 

Current needs: A new work wardrobe, but I'm in that "but I want to lose some weight first" stage. I know you know.

Current triumphs: I'm logging calories and exercising with some consistency. It's a start! 

Current bane of my existence: The acne I'm experiencing on my chin. Since when is 30 the new 15? 

Current celebrity crush: Ronda Rousey. She kinda scares me and I kinda like it. Also, she reminds me of Kat Stratford in 10 Things I Hate About You. That would make a great sequel. Like, she couldn't stand the bitches on the soccer team at Sarah Lawrence so she quit and started studying MMA as a way to control all of that pent up aggression and then some hot troublemaker notices her skills and enters her in a fight without her consent and she's all fuck you, I'm not doing it and he's like you're a fighter you can win and then she does win, of course, and they fall in love and stuff. Maybe she saves some kids from a gang. Anyway, RIP Heath Ledger. I hope there are beer-flavored nipples wherever you are.

Current indulgences: Every time I go for morning allergy shots (which is twice a week unless I'm lazy as is usually the case so, okay, once a week) I buy myself a drink from Starbucks because it's on the way. I either get iced black coffee or a caramel iced coffee with soy if I'm feeling saucy. It's only 120 calories, I can swing it.

Current blessings: Being born a citizen of the U.S. of A. I can't imagine having to go through the shit that so much of the world is going through. Bombs and kidnappings and ebola...it's rough out there and I am a fortunate woman. 

Current outfit: Black skinny jeans (Who knew skinny jeans could make me look smaller? Someone should have told me.), black and white striped tank top, and a bright corally pink grandpa-length cardigan with black flats. 

Current mood: I'm feeling alright. The weather is most excellent, work is not too crazy, and other than my chin pets my body is working like it should. No complaints here.

Current link: myfitnesspal.com/witandwoejenny

Jul 23, 2014


I actually worked out. BEFORE work! Please enjoy this "I woke up like dis" photo as proof. 

That's all. Carry on! 

Jul 16, 2014

Weigh-in: Starting Point

Good morning party people! I weighed in this morning and I didn't even hate it. The result was as I expected (and two pounds lower than what I weighed last week, so that's something).

Current weight: 232.8 lbs.

And just like that I have a (new) starting point. 

Jul 14, 2014

The Thing About Weight Loss

I know I've been rather inactive on the weight loss blogging front, but please know this: weight loss consumes my thoughts. The subject of weight loss is a constant in my life. Even if I'm not actively thinking about it, I'm thinking about it. You know what I mean? It's like an annoying fly in my ear, a constant buzzing. No matter where I go or what I do, the fly follows and makes itself known. 
When I'm putting on jeans in the morning, the fly says "Remember when you lost 40 lbs. and these jeans practically fell off you?" 

When I'm riding the metro to work, choosing to stand rather than sit, the fly says "Yeah, it's best that you don't try to squeeze your butt in next to someone. They'd probably hate that." 

When I'm working in the afternoon, my lunch long gone and my dinner still hours away, the fly says "You're hungry, sure. But you shouldn't be."

It's a constant and, sadly, I've gotten used to it. I'd love to throw my hands up and say "I'm happy with my body as it is. I love my thighs just the way they are. And that underarm jiggle? It's perfection! I'm Queen of the Universe! Everything is sparkles and sunshine!" But I can't. Because even if I did believe those things, that pesky fly would get right up in my ear space and say 
"PSSSSSSSSST! But what about your health?" 
The truth is no amount of loving my thighs is going to make me less susceptible to heart disease. And no amount of delight over my jiggle is going to remove the very real threat of weight-related cancers in my future. I need to lose weight. For my health, for my future, for the health of my (far in the) future babies. I love myself and I do love my body for what it is capable of, but it's capable of so much more. I am capable of so much more.

All of this is to say that I'm still here. I haven't given up. I can't give up. It's simply not an option. Though I've been in an apathetic mood lately (okay, for the last year...and a half), the tides are turning. I stepped on the scale recently and weighed in at a number that is dangerously close to what I weighed when I started this blog (well, when I started Frankly, Fatso which became this blog). 

My biggest fear when I started publicly blogging about my weight wasn't that I wouldn't lose any weight. It was that I'd lose weight and then gain it back. And that's happened. But you know what? It happens to everyone. Seriously! I read a lot of blogs, most of them revolving around weight loss and healthy living, and every single person that I follow has gained some, all, or more of their weight back. It's probably going to be something that happens for the rest of my life. But as long as I'm still trying and still focusing on being a healthier person, then I haven't failed. 

I'm going to start weighing in every other week again. I'm going to start discussing my workouts and my plans and my goals and my fears and my triumphs. I'm also going to tell that damn fly to quit being so fucking negative. 
I'm always starting over, which is both a difficult thing to do and a difficult thing to admit, but, considering the alternative, I'd say I'm still on the right path.

Jun 17, 2014

Another Interview with the Competition

Wehhhhh-he-he-hellllllll-luh, do I have a competition update for you, dear readers! Enjoy this little interview-via-text and all will be revealed.... mwahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Hello, Samantha. How's it going?

Hello, Jennifer. I'm tired and probably have a slight stench going on but I'm not worried cause everyone else in this room is smelling the same.

(Side note: Sam is at work. She works mostly outdoors. It's in the 90s here. Ok, carry on.)

That's charming... I'm great, you know whyyy?

Cause you just saved 10% on your car insurance...? Cause USA won yesterday...?

Nope. Becauuuuuuuse....... I WIN! I WIN! IWINIWINIWIN!!!!!!


Not the response I was expecting. What's your angle?

I admit defeat but I didn't cave to temptations...I would like to clarify that. No alcohol gets left behind. I was just following that golden rule!

And why don't you tell the readers exactly what happened. You know, when you crash landed in Loserville. 

Well, dear readers. I was in Dallas eating salad after salad after salad on top of salad, even though I was surrounded by the sights and smells of delicious-looking non-whole foods. Now, salads are not the best things to consume when a night of drinking is ahead of you. A few beers and two shots later I was feeling it... I'm not using my consumption of alcohol as an excuse, but a fellow coworker ordered a drink that she didn't like...a Washington apple. So instead of letting it go to waste, I finished it. Those two swallows cost me $200. 

It didn't cross my mind that I couldn't have it, and I didn't realize it until I was telling Jenny what I drank that evening and she immediately stopped me in my story-telling tracks and pointed that fact out... So that is how I lost the bet. 


You know where you can shove that BOOM, right?

Babe...not in front of the kids.

You barely have readers... Do you really think the few you have are kids?

Don't be such a sore loser. Besides, I have a billion readers. They adore me.

I'm not a sore loser cause in my mind, even though I'm $200 poorer, I know in my heart that I did not purposely consume something I wasn't suppose to...like a candy bar.

That's true. Good job. But you still lost. How's your diet now that the competition is over?

Besides the generic pudding I ate and the pizza and Rita's you wanted...it's been good. Except for the jelly on three sandwiches I consumed.

Thanks for pointing that out. I'd like to follow up with the fact that you ate more pizza than I did.

I did eat one more piece than you, but you did hork the cheese fries down...

Let's not get into details! When do I get my money? I have my eye on a pair of Ray-Bans...

Friday you get your money and Saturday I'll be asking to borrow some. 

Fat chance, darlin'. I'll be asking for a ride to the malllllll.

You can ask for a ride but it doesn't mean I have to take you. So perhaps you should tone down the rubbing in of the winning attitude you have going on. I have one word for you, sweetheart...METRO.

Eh. That's what online shopping is for. I WINNNNN!

And THAT'S the story of how I won the competition. After a brief reunion with bad foods that made me feel seriously ill this weekend, we're back on the whole foods, no sugar train. You know, trying to make it a normal thing. You know, as these things go. You know.

Jun 11, 2014

WIAW: Healthy as a Horse

Hello, bleaders and WIAW wanderers alike! I haven't linked up to WIAW in a long while but I thought it would be fun to participate today so I can brag about how healthy I am! #TEAMJENNY (If you have no idea what I'm talking about, you can read this to catch up.)

Yesterday I awoke to the sound of my goddamned alarm clock and promptly set it for 30 minutes later. When I finally awoke, I slugged down some water with my meds (just allergy stuff, nothing exciting), got ready, and headed to work. 

Upon arriving at work I made this glorious bowl of blueberry oatmeal with cinnamon. I've been enjoying overnight oats with pumpkin (outside of October?! Scandalous, I know), but forgot to mix those up the night before so hot oats in my face it was. 

Stare into my oaty goodness.
Several hours later I ate again! This time I enjoyed a big blue plate of farmer's market lettuce (the purpley kind, what's that called?), seedless cucumbers because the seeds make me burp and cucumber burps are disgusting, green peppers, green onions, Amish goat cheese (I put that shit on everything), and roasted chicken. Tahini dressing on top.

I also had a peach which I did not take a picture of because by the time I remembered I was elbow deep in peach juice. Seriously, how does one eat a peach gracefully? I have yet to come up with a good, clean technique other than pussing out and eating it with a fork.

When I got home from work I had a brownie before my workout.

A BROWNIE?! you say. Yes, a brownie. A sweet potato-oat flour-date concoction that does not taste exactly like a brownie, but is close enough to make me want more. The idea was based off of this Deliciously Ella recipe

For dinner I had the same thing I had the previous two nights: an omelette. Since Sam is away for work, I'm living the bachelor(ette) life. It's so much easier to throw two eggs in a plan, add a little something (in this case goat cheese and fresh basil), and have dinner ready in two minutes than it is to make a full meal. I sauteed kale with olive oil and nutritional yeast on the side. 

And thaaaaat's it! So healthy right? It's amazing what I can stick to when I want to kick my wife's ass in a competition. ;)